THE ALL TOO FAMILIAR FEELING

Nothing more needed to be said, each knew what she must do.

They strode purposefully towards their Mini Cooper, which was hidden behind the bushes. The engine purred to life, and as they drove off, Shania outlined the plan of attack. "We need to get a hold of lime; loads of it. Then, we need to find Chuck Norris."

Shania's accomplice looked bewildered. "Why, didn't you and Chuck have a thing a few years ago?"

"He wasn't into women then, but neither was I, so we fiddled and prodded, but he was about as good at that as he was at Putt Putt."

Shania's accomplice smiled like a Trout juggling billiard balls. "Have you got a shovel?" she enquired.

"You betcha aerobicised buns I have," Shania replied. "How long before we're there?"

The accomplice scratched her hairy raggamuffin and replied, "About another 4 hours till Sea World. But wait... is that a granny in a thong?"

Sure enough, pushing her trolley on the sidewalk, was a granny in a pink thong. Shania and her accomplice thought it was a g-string, but it was actually a granny wearing one flip-flop!

"Hot!" Shania said.

"Damn right!" rapped the elderly pensioner, who was John Howard's mother.

Strangely enough, she looked just like John Howard. Come to think of it, it was Johnny Howard, putting on a pubic display to promote his new anti-terrorism laws.